"The View Beyond The Balcony" by Randy Weeks
No parent should have to bury their child.
—King Théoden in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
I doubt many of us make it through our education from kindergarten through college without having to deal with the death of a classmate. I recall three. One was a suicide. A second was accidental, related to substance use. The third was from a car accident. All cast a dark, dark pall over the entire student body.
Tragedy is not part of every death. My father died at 86. My mother died at 95. I grieved both, but their deaths came after long, full lives. The only tragedy in those cases was that, to this day, I wish I’d asked them more questions. But for the death by suicide of my 72-year-old brother and the death of my 10-year-old nephew, struck by a car and killed, there was plenty of tragedy.
Tragically, on Monday, September 21, Robert Strang (20) and Aiden Hamilton (18), both students at the University of Mississippi, died unexpectantly. The Clarion Ledger reported that the substance kratom, purchased from a Lafayette County retail store, was present in both cases. At this stage, kratom is the prime suspect. Perhaps by the time this goes to press, we’ll know for certain.
Kratom comes from the leaves of a Southeast Asian tree. It has been used for centuries to boost energy, relieve pain, manage addiction, and improve one’s mood. For the longest time, the leaves were chewed or brewed as tea. Now you can buy it at some convenience stores and gas stations. Similar to fentanyl, if it’s bought from an unregulated source and it’s not prescribed and monitored, it can be just as dangerous as putting a gun to your head. Synthetic kratom has been prohibited in Lafayette County since 2019, and kratom itself has been banned since 2021. It is fully banned in 11 states.
Large doses of kratom can have opioid-like effects, while smaller doses can have stimulant effects. Those two mind-altering qualities are part of the attraction, and college students may be particularly susceptible, in part because their brains are not fully developed until about the age of 23–25. And the last part of the brain to fully develop? Judgment. It seems a cruel trick of nature. Why can’t that come first?
We send our 18-year-olds to college where they experience more freedom and autonomy than they’ve ever known. It can be a wonderful experience. But the companion of fun and frivolity is sometimes danger and risk. Excessive drinking, as is regularly on display in the Grove, Greek parties, and some local bars, can lead to drinking and driving, sexual escapades, drug abuse, violence, mental health issues, and other dangers that often lie in wait, as close as a whisper.
How do we keep our children safe? Good parenting is where we start. Giving our children a strong moral foundation is seminal. We must show them how to live and how to be safe in the culture in which they will live, not just tell them. Pretending these dangers don’t exist is a parental failure. The potential problems won’t go away when we shut them in a closet. Graham Nash’s song, “Teach Your Children,” as sung by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, is an unveiled call for good parenting. Go to YouTube and listen to it, even if you already know it.
Wisely, vending machines that dispense free Narcan for opioid overdose are located on campus and at the parking garages downtown in Oxford. It is a stark reality that such a thing is needed. I applaud the officials of the University and the City for not burying their collective heads in the sand. It is a matter of life and, unfortunately, in these two cases, death.
Would Narcan have made a difference for Hamilton and Strang? Who can say? But that’s not the main issue in this column. The main issue is two lives cut off in their prime. Lost are all the possibilities of what could have been. And for their families, some broken place cannot be healed.
Grief is the price we pay for love.
—Queen Elizabeth II
…and that’s the View Beyond the Balcony.
Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Telemental Health Provider, a Certified Shamanic Life Coach, an ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. He may be reached at randallsweeks@gmail.com. Randy confesses that, due to the subject matter, this column was a hard, hard one to write.
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