{"id":9973,"date":"2007-11-15T23:36:26","date_gmt":"2007-11-16T04:36:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=9973"},"modified":"2014-10-22T01:57:25","modified_gmt":"2014-10-22T06:57:25","slug":"lsu-fans-smell-just-like-corn-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/lsu-fans-smell-just-like-corn-dogs\/","title":{"rendered":"LSU Fans Smell Just Like Corn Dogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

In what has become an SEC<\/strong> tradition, it’s time to tell the story of how LSU<\/strong> fans became corn dogs. <\/span><\/p>\n

For years, fans around the SEC have commented on the aroma of our friends in Bayou country. They smell different from any other school in the conference. <\/span><\/p>\n

It’s a unique stench that well, can only be described as the smell of a corn dog.<\/span><\/p>\n

A few years ago, an unknown Auburn<\/strong> person penned the very essence of the issue.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was posted by a fan that goes by DeepBlue<\/strong> and appeared on the AUtigers.com<\/strong> web site. <\/span><\/p>\n

No one knows his true identity. But he is a\u00a0modern day Hemingway<\/strong>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Like the annual telling of The Night Before Christmas<\/em>, I give to you, the making of the LSU Corn Dog<\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Enjoy…<\/span>
\n_______________________________________________________________<\/span><\/p>\n

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.\u00a0<\/span>
\n \"corn<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.<\/span><\/p>\n

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am afraid that they\u2019ll know I said it. I\u2019ll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he\u2019ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. <\/span><\/p>\n

That look that says, \u201cgee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?\u201d The next thing you know, I\u2019ll have flat tires on my car.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs.<\/span><\/p>\n

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.\u00a0I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Say something else instead. Like, \u201cWow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard. I know. It\u2019s like when you\u2019re having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else.\u00a0<\/span>
\n \"corndog_jersey\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: \u201cGee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?\u201d; or \u201cIs this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?\u201d or \u201cWhat did that giant corn dog just say?\u201d or \u201cExcuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?\u201d or, of course, after a silencer: \u201cMadam, did you just let the corn dogs out?\u201d\u00a0
\n<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Heck, after what I\u2019ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That\u2019s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

Try holding your breath. But don\u2019t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you\u2019re trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They\u2019ll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0
\n<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"lsu-fans-corndogs-2\"<\/span><\/p>\n

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it\u2019ll permeate your whole body,\u00a0and then you\u2019ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. <\/span><\/p>\n

But don\u2019t say, \u201cDang, now I smell like a corn dog.\u201d They take offense to that.<\/span><\/p>\n

And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don\u2019t say it. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. <\/span><\/p>\n

No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that\u2019s dangerous.\u00a0Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive – on some other weekend.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n

What puzzles me most is that I\u2019ve never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there\u2019s no mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"LSU<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe there\u2019s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe, there\u2019s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – kind of like fluoride. <\/span><\/p>\n

The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t comment on it though. It\u2019s not politically correct over there. It\u2019s like a malnutrition issue or something. It\u2019s like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"les\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you\u2019re thinking: \u201cAhhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I\u2019ll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe\u2019 or some fancy Cajun food.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

But just stop thinking that. That\u2019s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don\u2019t try masking the odor with something stronger. They\u2019ll curse at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"355cqz\"<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019ll say something like: \u201cWTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home.\u201d or \u201cWTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?\u201d and they\u2019ll cuss out your kids too: \u201cWTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn\u2019t want to smell like corn dogs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cajuns are not like us. Don\u2019t you see that, yet? <\/span><\/p>\n

They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I know. I know. We sniff the Bammers<\/strong> and the UGA Dawgs<\/strong> and the Ole Messes<\/strong>, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don\u2019t press your luck with the Cajun Tiger<\/strong> fans. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t refer to Death Valley<\/strong> as Corn Dog Valley<\/strong> either. I mean that\u2019s just wrong. Even if you\u2019ve been drinking, they\u2019ll beat you up and curse out your kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"LSUcorndogs\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – even if you\u2019re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you can\u2019t control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you\u2019re choking on it or something. They\u2019ll likely burn your van for that. <\/span><\/p>\n

We lost a campus building over just one snort.\u00a0
\n<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. <\/span><\/p>\n

But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? <\/span><\/p>\n

Get your corn dog jollies at home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"LSU<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"corndogmilesgf7\"<\/a><\/span>
\n \"et5cba\"<\/a><\/span>
\n \"LesMiles-Looter\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"lsucorndogthebountyhuntrw2\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

This article was originally published in <\/em>The Local Voice #41 November 15-29, 2007.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In what has become an SEC tradition, it’s time to tell the story of how LSU fans became<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":238,"featured_media":9982,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,16],"tags":[1642,2313,2300,2297,2295,2316,2314,2320,2299,2298,2086,2315,2317,2311,2296,2312,2319,2318,2294],"class_list":["post-9973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-creative-writing","category-local-athletics","tag-alabama-crimson-tide","tag-auburn-tigers","tag-baton-rouge","tag-cajun","tag-corn-dogs","tag-florida-gators","tag-georgia-bulldogs","tag-kentucky-wildcats","tag-louisiana","tag-louisiana-state","tag-lsu","tag-mississippi-state-bulldogs","tag-missouri-tigers","tag-sec","tag-smell","tag-south-eastern-conference","tag-tennessee-volunteers","tag-texas-am-aggies","tag-tigers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/LSUCornDogs-FeaturedImage.jpg?fit=620%2C349&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9973","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/238"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9973"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9973\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9973"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9973"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9973"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}