![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/The-Doctor-is-In.jpg?resize=640%2C480\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n\u201cI just found out that my boyfriend\/girlfriend cheated on me and I\u2019m gonna get even! I\u2019m gonna sleep with his\/her best friend. Sounds great, right?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Badvice:<\/span> By all means, you should definitely sleep with your ex\u2019s best friend! While you\u2019re at it, sleep with three or four other friends of theirs. And if you really want to get even, take pictures. Hell, video the stuff and send it to them. Put it on the net so your parents and future children can see your great triumph. That\u2019ll teach your special someone to step out on you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Advice:<\/span> Wrong! It\u2019s normal to be angry as wet hen when you find out you\u2019ve been betrayed by someone you love. But to screw around to get back at them? Don\u2019t shoot yourself in the foot. Go knock the crap out of some golf balls. Go driving in the county with your windows down and yell at the top of your lungs. Go kickboxing. Pee on their picture. Trash talk about your ex with a confidant, but stop there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t cheapen yourself. You can get even with numbers, but not in relationships. Promise yourself that you\u2019re going to get through this garbage and still be able to see a person of integrity when you look in the mirror. A lot of couples go through a cheating incident and get back together. If you love that person, playing tit-for-tat is going to make it harder to fix things. And if you stay split up, you\u2019ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you respected yourself and took the high ground. Long-term that\u2019s the best revenge anyone could have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy son\/daughter is a student at Ole Miss. When I try to call them, 90% of the time they won\u2019t answer or call us back. And we pay all their bills. What can we do?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Badvice:<\/span> Cut \u2018em off. Period. No discussion. Cut off their phone service, repossess their Mercedes, cancel the credit cards, and take them off your Spotify account. Make them dependent on you for the very air they breathe. They\u2019re sure to call you then (if they can find a phone!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Advice:<\/span> Before you go ballistic and cut them off, ask yourself: what is the goal of your response? Most parents simply want a reply in a reasonable amount of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Try the old \u201cLet\u2019s-have-a-talk\u201d thing. But don\u2019t wag your finger in their face. That\u2019ll guarantee failure. Be clear about what you want and what you need. Be specific. Have your child repeat that information to you so you can make certain you\u2019ve been heard and understood. Listen to them and make sure you\u2019re understanding them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Negotiate for a win-win. For example, when you call your student, if you have to leave a voicemail, tell them whether your call\u2019s urgent or not. Let them know how soon you need to hear from them. Reinforce that with a text and have them acknowledge it. Then, if there\u2019s no cooperation, once you have all the information as to why and you know you\u2019re in the right, you can start the cut-off\u2014one thing at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then there was this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re planning a family vacation. I want to go to Las Vegas, my spouse wants to see the replica of Noah\u2019s Ark, and the children want to go to Disneyland. What should we do?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Badvice:<\/span> Lock the kids in the basement (with plenty to eat and drink, of course). Go to Vegas. Spend every penny you have. Noah\u2019s Ark ain\u2019t worth the drive. Believe me. I\u2019ve seen it. Didn\u2019t float my boat, if you catch my drift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Advice:<\/span> Go to an ashram and commit yourself to prayer and fasting until your family goes away. That, my child, is the path to true contentment and peace. Om.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And that\u2019s the View from The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor. For real. This has not been a shameless plug for business.) Sitting on The Balcony as I do, people talk to me. They tell me things, personal things, private<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":262,"featured_media":39753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11902],"tags":[7163,14805,31,4,10286,10878],"class_list":["post-77943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-randy-weeks","tag-advice","tag-advice-column","tag-city-grocery","tag-oxford","tag-randy-weeks","tag-the-view-from-the-balcony"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/2017-5-11-View-from-the-Balcony.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77943"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77943\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Editor\u2019s Note:<\/span> If you want to ask Randy for his advice on something, send your question to thelocalvoice@thelocalvoice.net, attention: \u201cBadvice,\u201d then watch TLV for a reply.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"