{"id":49298,"date":"2018-10-17T15:38:26","date_gmt":"2018-10-17T21:38:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=49298"},"modified":"2018-10-17T21:16:11","modified_gmt":"2018-10-18T03:16:11","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-i-like-beer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-i-like-beer\/","title":{"rendered":"The View from the Balcony: “I Like Beer”"},"content":{"rendered":"

After being confirmed as a Justice on the Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh needed a break \u2013 a little, anonymous getaway. His wife needed to get him out of the house for a while, too. So, Kavanaugh secretly slinked away to \u2013 where else? \u2013 Oxford Town. He arrived on the Wednesday after homecoming, disguised as a former Ole Miss frat brat: khaki pants, a red polo shirt with \u201cOle Miss\u201d monogramed over where his heart ought to be, and loafers (sans socks), topped off with an Ole Miss baseball cap.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Balcony was pretty crowded with Whiskey Wednesday friends. Kav stepped outside, Wiseacre beer in hand. He surveyed The Square then looked to his left where, lo and behold, he saw me sitting in the corner. He gave me a polite \u201cHello\u201d and asked if he could sit in my chottoman (It\u2019s a chair that\u2019s used as an ottoman.). Being the gracious and hospitable man that I am, I smiled and said, \u201cOf course\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kav was quiet for a few moments, then he broke the silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI like beer,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

I held my tongue (which ain\u2019t easy to do after two greyhounds and two vodkas \u2013 neat).<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYep,\u201d he said. \u201cI really like beer.\u201d Not getting the desired reaction from me, he put his thumbs under his belt, leaned back in the chair and said more emphatically, \u201cYep. I REALLY like beer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I loosed my tongue. \u201cYeah, the whole world knows you REALLY like beer, Bart.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned whiter that he already was and his eyes got bigger than the mouth of a German beer stein. He leaned in to me and whispered intently, \u201cF-f-f-f-f-forget that you know who I am! Please! I\u2019ve just been drawn and quartered in the public area and all I wanna do is hide out for a little while. And the name\u2019s Brett, not Bart.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, Bart. I\u2019ve had a taste of that, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou too?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYep. Me too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t none of your f-f-f-f-f-reakin\u2019 business. But I\u2019ll tell you this: I wasn\u2019t stupid enough to let somebody nominate me for even the town Dogcatcher, much less the Supreme Court.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I was confirmed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. I heard that. The Court started its session Monday, Bart. Why aren\u2019t you there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Brett, not Bart. I was there. But yesterday Donnie boy told me to take a few days off to recover. \u2018Get out of town. Go drink some beer\u2019, he said. Who am I to question POTUS? I\u2019m gonna get another beer. I like beer. Do you like beer?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Bart. I like beer, but I\u2019m more of a vodka man myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVodka, huh?\u201d he chuckled. \u201cYou don\u2019t sound Russian, cowboykof!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I rolled my eyes and took another draw on my pipe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey! What kind of tobacco you got in that thing? Some of that funny stuff?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I pulled my Steampunk sunglasses down just enough to look over them. \u201cI\u2019d never defile this sacred space like that. Go get your beer, Burt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kav came back with another glass of Wiseacre. Bits of foam stuck to his upper lip. I didn\u2019t tell him. Three beers and a few high school drinking stories later it was way past time for me to leave. I packed up my accoutrements, stood, shook Kav\u2019s hand and wished him well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kav\u2019s curiosity got the best of him. He asked, \u201cOf all this mess about the confirmation and after having talked with me tonight, I can\u2019t help but wonder\u2026If someone asked, what would you say you think of me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0I paused, weighing my words carefully. \u201cBart likes beer, I\u2019d say. He really, really likes beer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kav grinned a beer-foam mustachioed grin and toasted me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking about asking Andy O\u2019Bryan if his Yalobusha Brewing Company would make a special beer in honor of his ornery \u2013 one that tastes sweet at first but leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. I can\u2019t decide on the name to suggest, though. Justice Beer? Bart\u2019s Brewski? Supreme Cork? Let\u2019s have a hearing and vote on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the view from The Balcony.\u00a0\u00a0\"The<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After being confirmed as a Justice on the Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh needed a break \u2013 a little,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":262,"featured_media":39753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11902],"tags":[13390,31,13389,10286,10878],"class_list":["post-49298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-randy-weeks","tag-brett-kavanaugh","tag-city-grocery","tag-randy-week","tag-randy-weeks","tag-the-view-from-the-balcony"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/2017-5-11-View-from-the-Balcony.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}