{"id":48240,"date":"2018-08-28T14:37:20","date_gmt":"2018-08-28T20:37:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=48240"},"modified":"2018-08-28T14:37:20","modified_gmt":"2018-08-28T20:37:20","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-the-ten-commandments-for-students","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-the-ten-commandments-for-students\/","title":{"rendered":"The View from the Balcony: The Ten Commandments for Students"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cue up Bobby Darin\u2019s \u201cMack the Knife.\u201d The students are back in town.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re an incoming freshman or a perennial senior, good advice can always make a difference\u2014if you use it. I have conducted several years of observational research from my vantage point on The Balcony above City Grocery. For the record, I\u2019m not stupid enough to say I\u2019ve seen it all, because just when you say that somebody comes along with a whole new bag.<\/span><\/p>\n

Utilizing my credentials as a sociologist and a counselor, along with lessons learned from 25+ years of working with students, I have distilled bits of wisdom down to the 600\u2013700 words allocated to me in TLV<\/em>. Therefore, without any further ado, I now present the Ten Commandments for Students. Ignore them at your own peril.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #10:<\/strong><\/span> Don\u2019t circle The Square (Don\u2019t you love that phrase: circle The Square?) with vile music blasting out of your car\u2019s audio system with your windows or your roof down. There are children around and even some of the adults don\u2019t want to hear the \u201cF-N-B\u201d words bombarding us like Hitler bombed London. Instead, play Creedence, play The Temptations, play Brubeck, play Mozart. Hell, play Mr. Rogers. Just don\u2019t contaminate the bucolic atmosphere with R- and X-Rated reverberations.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #9:<\/strong><\/span> Don\u2019t blow smoke in anyone\u2019s face\u2014unless he or she looks in your eyes and says, \u201cBlow smoke in my face.\u201d And if you borrow a lighter, for goodness\u2019 sake, give it back. I know some lighter-lifters who could finance their college education by selling all the Bics they\u2019ve absconded. (Commandment 9.5 is \u201cDon\u2019t spit on The Balcony floor.\u201d Go to the bathroom. Spit in a cup. I neither want to see nor step in your slimy saliva.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #8:<\/strong><\/span> Don\u2019t do stuff to hurt someone else\u2019s character. That includes sexting, gossiping, and making up crap for revenge. Be better than that. Remember that once it\u2019s posted it\u2019s out there. There ain\u2019t no going back. And, sadly, the salacious travels at Mach 10. Truth rarely comes from behind to win in the home stretch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #7:<\/strong><\/span> Look in the mirror before you make your public appearance. Ask yourself if you really want to have your pictures all over Instagram wearing THAT. Cover what\u2019s supposed to be covered. I won\u2019t deny that the view from The Balcony can be interesting, but . . . there\u2019s a difference between clothes that are eye-catching and clothes that lead to rubberneck wrecks. But if you choose to push the limits, at least own it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #6:<\/strong><\/span> When you know it\u2019s time to quit, quit. Enough means enough and no means no<\/strong>. Don\u2019t ruin your life and especially don\u2019t ruin someone else\u2019s life. And if you see a friend who\u2019s about to victimize or be victimized, stand up and stop it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #5:<\/strong><\/span> Spend time in the library studying for class. You can spend time in The Library studying anatomy and bar tabs, but if you don\u2019t make the grades Mama and Daddy might take away your credit card and your Bimmer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #4:<\/strong><\/span> Respect your elders. Most students raised in the South do, even when they\u2019re throwing up in the toilet. Be sure you\u2019re one of those.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #3:<\/strong><\/span> Don\u2019t embarrass your family\u2014ever! You may think it\u2019s funny to rip off your shirt and dance wildly on a Grove table to some of that \u201cF-N-B\u201d music, but, believe me, Mama and Daddy ain\u2019t gonna like it. There goes the credit card and the Bimmer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #2:<\/strong><\/span> Choose your friends wisely. If every time you\u2019re out with Rufus the Doofus you get busted or come to in the bushes the next morning, you might not want to continue being under the influence of Rufus. That would make you the doofus.<\/span><\/p>\n

And now for the most important of the commandments (drum roll):<\/span><\/p>\n

Commandment #1:<\/strong><\/span> If you\u2019re sitting in the Southwest corner of The Balcony above City Grocery and I show up, get your sorry butt up and give me the seat. And don\u2019t steal my ottoman\u2014or my lighter, either!<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s the view from The Balcony.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cue up Bobby Darin\u2019s \u201cMack the Knife.\u201d The students are back in town. Whether you\u2019re an incoming freshman<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":39753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11902],"tags":[31,10286,8256,13126,10878],"class_list":["post-48240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-randy-weeks","tag-city-grocery","tag-randy-weeks","tag-students","tag-ten-commandmnts","tag-the-view-from-the-balcony"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/2017-5-11-View-from-the-Balcony.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48240","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48240"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48240\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}