{"id":2728,"date":"2012-07-26T14:53:17","date_gmt":"2012-07-26T19:53:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=2728"},"modified":"2022-07-06T17:05:10","modified_gmt":"2022-07-06T22:05:10","slug":"feeding-friends-feast-for-body-and-soul-by-rebecca-long-from-tlv-161","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/feeding-friends-feast-for-body-and-soul-by-rebecca-long-from-tlv-161\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeding Friends: Feast For Body and Soul"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Everyone has to eat at some point, in theory, and someone has to cook the food. I\u2019ve cooked tasty dishes for one and for two since I was a teenager, but I\u2019ve found that it\u2019s much more satisfying to share what I\u2019ve learned about cooking with the people in my life, in the form of \u201cdinner parties.\u201d When I was younger, I thought of dinner parties as something more bourgeois than proletariat\u2014perhaps forbidden within my social caste, or some such nonsense. I don\u2019t even have a dining room table, for chrissakes!<\/p>\n

Turns out: people don\u2019t care so much. The food should be tasty, since that\u2019s how the party\u2019s billed, but it\u2019s really about fellowship. Who to invite? I invite the people I can afford to. So, in general, it ends up being a smallish revolving cast of cohort characters and co-conspirators, folks who help me out when I need or whose company I enjoy. I wish I could feed 20 folks at a time (I\u2019d love that!), but I\u2019d need a kitchen bitch and a dishwasher (human or mechanical) for the night. I do what I can, when I can, and none of my friends should ever feel excluded cause of my limited means. It\u2019s like my friend recently said when we were talking about the expense of the art he makes, \u201cIt\u2019s my job. I have to do it.\u201d I feel like (when funds are findable) cooking for the people I love is my job.<\/p>\n

When I invite people I try to make sure they either know each other or have a high likelihood of getting along\u2014people meeting new people can be fun! If you have roommates, or a guy-on-the-couch, don\u2019t forget to mention your get-together, as (presumably) they pay rent as well. And neighbors…if you\u2019re not going to invite them, try not to annoy them. My invitations have all been casual to this point, via phone and text. But I\u2019ve been considering Facebook. Email\u2019s an option, as well as handmade postal invitations for special occasions.<\/p>\n

\"\"There are several stages of the dinner party experience. Be realistic: Do you have help? Are you, in fact, a superhero? (And does your superpower help you dice vegetables?) Doing dishes sucks, y\u2019all. Delegation\u2019s an option if you have a mate or (free) child labor. You can always ask one or two attendees to come over and help for a bit before other guests arrive, but remember you want these people to still be your friends when the night\u2019s over. It\u2019s important to remember why you\u2019re having a dinner party in the first place\u2014so you can cook for others. I\u2019ve gotten bogged down and had to ask guests to help before (thanks, Ellie and Charles, for helping my birthday dinner happen last year!) but I didn\u2019t like doing it. The definition of hospitality is \u201cthe friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers,\u201d or \u201cthe quality or disposition\u00a0of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cost and menu should be considered in tandem. Every party is different, but since you\u2019re inviting people to your house to eat, you should provide them with a plate full of balanced nutrition. If you don\u2019t overdo it, you can cook four courses for four people for about the same as your portion of the check at a restaurant with haughty prices. See what vegetables are in season, check out farmers\u2019 markets, see what\u2019s already in your pantry, and then start searching for recipes. To pay for groceries, you could put out a tip jar (which is certainly not always acceptable), or have a potluck (when you suggest that guests bring a dish). Or you could just show some genuine hospitality. If you\u2019re planning several weeks ahead, you can spread the grocery bill over several pay-periods. And people in Oxford seem to grasp the concept of B.Y.O.B. pretty firmly\u2014that\u2019s never been a problem.<\/p>\n

\"\"It\u2019s important to choose recipes that are scaleable. Working in commercial kitchens has taught me a lot. One of the most important things here, though, is that doubling a recipe often takes little additional work, maybe just a bigger pot and five minutes more chopping. Make sure you have enough food\u2014if you have leftovers, you already have lunch for tomorrow. And, as aforementioned, you\u2019ll have a food to fill plates for that random couple that shows up late, or seconds for the hungry men in the corner. (Plus, it\u2019s embarrassing to run out of food!)<\/p>\n

My Momma taught me as a girl how much an oven, or just two burners, can nullify the benefits of an air conditioner in conditions like these in a Mississippi summer. So, in addition, cooking larger batches of recipes keeps your dwelling from rising to desert-like temperatures quite as often.<\/p>\n

\"\"A written schedule is an essential thing\u2014Mr. Spock would call it logical. I write down all the steps of each recipe in order and figure out how long each step will take. Then I start piecing together how the evening\u2019s tasks have to go, to get everything done on time. Please heed the following advice: allow enough time for every step, and then a few extra minutes for prep here and there. I never do get food ready on time, so I\u2019ve found that people are happy with drinks and crackers for a little while, but they didn\u2019t come over to starve (the exact opposite, in fact). Do as much as possible beforehand. But, while many dishes\u2019 flavors heighten overnight, just as many dishes must be made fresh before guests arrive. Do what you gotta to provide good grub.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s so much to consider when you\u2019re trying to make folks feel welcome in your home\u2014how to genuinely keep them entertained is the first thing. As soon as folks arrive, try to put something, anything, in their hands to sip on. And ideally, at this point, it\u2019s nice to be able to offer an easy appetizer, something to whet appetites until dinner is served…we\u2019re talking cheese and crackers here.<\/p>\n

\"\"The atmosphere is up to you. Some people go to lengths with themed parties, but I haven\u2019t yet had the forethought. I\u2019m pretty pretense-free inside my own home, but dinner is a good reason to tidy a bit before guests arrive. (And remember that when folks eat dishes prepared in your home, you are responsible for the cleanliness of your food-preparation area and not making people sick!)<\/p>\n

As far as ambience, you can easily plan an evening that makes guests feel comfortable. I\u2019ve made playlists for get-togethers, but sometimes I\u2019ll just pick an album and stick with it. I\u2019ve played movies in the background that I want everyone to see, like Harvey, Interstate 60 (starring everyone\u2014Google it!) and Hackers, plus stuff we\u2019ve all seen like Monty Python & The Holy Grail. And, of course, zany awesome stuff often happens after a few beers and passes of a whiskey bottle…I\u2019ll never forget the friends who have grabbed my guitar and serenaded the room with talent, or impromptu \u201cYou\u2019ve Lost That Lovin\u2019 Feelin\u2019\u201d and \u201cBohemian Rhapsody\u201d sing-along sessions after dinner.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like Amy Sedaris said, \u201cI really don\u2019t like going out. I don\u2019t like restaurants because I don\u2019t like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I\u2019ve always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never had a depressing dinner party. In fact, I find them to strengthen spirits in general. Earlier this year I made an amazing five-course vegetarian meal for a guest of honor who played hooky. Not to be discouraged when I received his message, I immediately doubled two of the recipes I was making, sent out a few late invitations, and served eight of my friends until they were full and happy.<\/p>\n

I believe I\u2019ve had a successful dinner party when it comes time to clear the plates away and I find that nearly everyone has emptied their plates twice, and that they\u2019re all laughing and having a good time. Breaking bread with others has (since the invention of bread) been associated with what Southern Baptists would call \u201ctrue fellowship\u201d\u2014something we all need to feel more human. So…who\u2019s cooking dinner tonight?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone has to eat at some point, in theory, and someone has to cook the food. I\u2019ve cooked<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123468,"featured_media":2731,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[184,228],"tags":[567,572,569,570,573,168,574,571],"class_list":["post-2728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cooks","category-local-opinion","tag-becky-long","tag-cacik","tag-dinner-parties","tag-feeding-friends","tag-fork-costume","tag-rebecca-long","tag-spoon-costume","tag-taboulleh"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/silverware_forkspooncostumes_v4.jpg?fit=360%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2728","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/123468"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2728"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2728\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2731"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2728"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2728"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2728"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}