{"id":167729,"date":"2026-11-12T12:37:10","date_gmt":"2026-11-12T18:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=167729"},"modified":"2026-11-12T13:55:11","modified_gmt":"2026-11-12T19:55:11","slug":"the-view-beyond-the-balcony-a-donkey-an-elephant-and-a-case-of-guinness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-beyond-the-balcony-a-donkey-an-elephant-and-a-case-of-guinness\/","title":{"rendered":"The View Beyond The Balcony: “A Donkey, an Elephant, and a Case of Guinness”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

On Wednesday <\/strong>night, November 4, having survived the incessant and utterly exhausting pummeling of political commercials and Election Day<\/strong> itself, I found myself completely worn to a frazzle. My head had hardly hit the pillow before I fell into a sleep Rip Van Winkle would have envied. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my comatose slumber I dreamed a dream. An elephant and a donkey were sitting on the Lafayette County <\/strong>courthouse steps, drinking Guinness Black Lager, and talking. It was after midnight, so they decided to let it all hang down. Me? I sneaked through the bushes, just close enough to hear their conversation. The elephant was crying and the donkey was trying to console it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Adobe<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Donkey<\/em> (patting the elephant on its trunk): There, there, Ellie. I know how you feel. I\u2019ve been there, too.<\/em> (Donk wiped Ellie\u2019s tears away with a towel and held it for Ellie, who blew his trunk clean. It was quite the noise and quite the mess),<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ellie: But y\u2019all\u2019s Blue Wave means for the first time since 2011 we won\u2019t control Congress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donk: I know, I know. But hey, it\u2019s only two years. You\u2019ll get another chance.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah, but now y\u2019all are gonna undo all the things we\u2019ve done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re gonna do our best.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re gonna impeach everyone!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, now, Ellie. Not everyone. Just the ones we don\u2019t agree with.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s just about everyone!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pretty much, but once you get shellacked like you did, there\u2019s no way to go but up. But don\u2019t worry. We\u2019ll listen to all you have to say before we vote you down. If you\u2019re a good pachyderm, we\u2019ll throw a few peanuts your way.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s Mikey gonna do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mikey? You mean \u201cThe Johnson\u201d? Don\u2019t worry. He\u2019ll slither away and hide under some rocks. He\u2019s all about surviving.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What about RFK, Jr.? Petie? Y\u2019all gonna impeach them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naw. We\u2019re gonna exile them to an island ruled by transgender people with measles and whooping cough and no vaccines.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ellie! Lighten up! Y\u2019all have done some good things, like tax cuts. You\u2019ve helped people keep more of their money in their pockets, which, by the way, they need since gas and beef prices are soaring. You set up educational accounts for children under 18. You\u2019ve outlawed deepfake revenge porn. Y\u2019all stopped making pennies. That\u2019s not a nickel-and-dime accomplishment. Impeach them all? Not gonna do it. Wouldn\u2019t be prudent.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. But we are gonna melt a lot of ICE. We\u2019re gonna put a halt to all the vanity projects of the<\/em> Pwesident. We\u2019re gonna re-establish the voting rights that SCROTUS made limp.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re probably gonna fill the Cabinet with people like Hillary, Biden, Obama, De Niro, Pete Buddhajig, and Paula Poundstone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me walk you home, Ellie. You\u2019re drunk.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You think you can hold me up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been trying to hold you back for years. If you\u2019ll cooperate and follow my lead, I\u2019ll hold you up, get you home, and tuck you in for at least a two-year sleep.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know where I live?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course I do, Ellie. We live under the same domed roof. Different rooms, but the same house.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, Ellie. I\u2019m not gonna kick you when you\u2019re down\u2014at least not hard. By the way, I brought some gifts for you. Open this box.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie opened the box.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A blue velvet blanket! A bluegrass CD! A blues CD! Two pairs of blue suede shoes! A pair of extra-large-to-the-hundredth-power blue jeans! A case of Blue Moon beer! I love you, Donk! I owe you. I\u2019ll do anything you ask me to! Anything!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what I like to hear. Now open one more Guinness, Ellie. Here\u2019s a bag of peanuts. Let\u2019s go home.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One last thing, Donk: Mississippi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too close to call today, but the state may be about to get a<\/em> Colomoscopy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Ellie wailed and opened another Guinness.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donk steadied Ellie as they stumbled into the night, singing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShow me the way to go home. I\u2019m tired and I wanna go to bed\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and that\u2019s the View from Beyond The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Telemental Health Provider, Certified Shamanic Life Coach, ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. He likes Blue Moon beer and peanuts.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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