{"id":150501,"date":"2025-07-10T08:35:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-10T13:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=150501"},"modified":"2025-07-09T21:13:15","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T02:13:15","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-jesus-peter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-jesus-peter\/","title":{"rendered":"The View From The Balcony: “Jesus & Peter”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(The following is an excerpt from my unpublished novel, Middle-Aged Messiah<\/strong><\/em>, in which Jesus convinces __od to allow him to come back to Earth in Mississippi in the early 1960s and grow up as a typical human, with no miracles or special powers just like you and me.) And away we go\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Most folks think I never met Paul. After all, I was dead when he came on the scene, guns a\u2019 blazing, according to the book of Acts. But I did meet him once and a saint he ain\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You remember that story in the Bible about when I was thirteen and got left in Jerusalem by Mama Mary and Daddy Joseph? How when they realized it a few days later and came rushin\u2019 back lookin\u2019 for me and found me in the Temple sayin all kinds of amazin\u2019 crap to the ol\u2019 rabbis? Paul was right there, too. His name was \u201cSaul\u201d then. Most folks know him as Paul now. He was a couple of years older\u2019n me. Those wiley ol\u2019 rabbis had secretly set us up to do a kinda \u201cpoint counterpoint\u201d debate. They\u2019d ask questions and me and Paul would take turns answerin\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Paul knew the Law. There wasn\u2019t nobody who could outsmart him on that. He\u2019d about got it all memorized. For hours me and Paul fielded the rabbis\u2019 questions. Paul\u2019d answer \u2019em real black an\u2019 white an\u2019 he was right\u2014every time. He didn\u2019t miss one single point of the Law. I, on the other hand, answered from the standpoint of the spirit<\/em> of the Law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything was friendly enough the first day, but as time rolled on things started gettin\u2019 tense. By the third day Paul was royally pissed and he let us know it. He was standin\u2019 up yellin\u2019 and screamin\u2019 at me. He was yellin\u2019 so hard that his face turned a bright, bright red. The veins on his neck and forehead were poppin\u2019 out like canned biscuits (which are an abomination to the Lord and the Southern Food Alliance, by the way). His eyes was bulgin\u2019 out to the point I was scared they were gonna bust wide open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I, on the other hand, was just sittin\u2019 there watchin\u2019\u2014which wasn\u2019t easy to do since Paul was about an inch from my nose an\u2019 was spittin\u2019 on my face with every word. I thought, \u201cWhat if his eyes and veins really did bust open?\u201d I imagined him with busted eyes and veins, but his mouth still agoin\u2019 ninety-to-nothin\u2019 and I got tickled. I tried not to laugh, but the more I thought about Paul\u2019s mouth just a\u2019 goin\u2019 an a goin\u2019 \u2018til his eyes and veins busted, the more trouble I had keepin\u2019 a straight face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I finally started hootin\u2019 an howlin\u2019 and rolled over on the floor bustin\u2019 a gut. Some of the rabbis got tickled, but to laugh out loud woulda been anathema. Those who didn\u2019t get it just sat there like one of \u2019em had farted and nobody was gonna own up to it! The others, like Paul, stood up all high and mighty, stuck their big ol\u2019 noses in the air, and marched out like I\u2019d put a turd in the middle of their prize winnin\u2019 bamanna bread! Yeah, I said \u201cbamanna bread.\u201d That\u2019s whatcha get when you use bananas and manna to make bread. Bamanna bread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I was kinda summin\u2019 things up for the remainin\u2019 rabbis. That was when Mama busted up all huffy and puffy. She grabbed me by the left ear and pulled me outta the Temple, giving me hell all the time for puttin\u2019 her and Daddy Joseph through such worry and trouble. I smarted off. \u201cI didn\u2019t leave y\u2019all. Y\u2019all left me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama twisted my ear so hard I belly-flopped in the dirt. I looked up at her and she was starin\u2019 down at me like she wanted to give me the cussin\u2019 of my life. Mama looked back at the rabbis glarin\u2019 at us and came back eye-to-eye with me. She barked, \u201cC\u2019mon, Jesus. We gotta move if we\u2019re gonna catch up with your Daddy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, yeah, I had a real close encounter with Saint Paul the Constipated quite early in my second incarnation.
\u2026and that\u2019s the View from The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Telemental Health Provider, Certified Shamanic Life Coach, ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. He has a tangential mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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