{"id":144139,"date":"2024-10-22T10:35:17","date_gmt":"2024-10-22T15:35:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=144139"},"modified":"2024-10-22T10:35:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T15:35:21","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-a-conspiracy-of-dunces","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-a-conspiracy-of-dunces\/","title":{"rendered":"The View From The Balcony: “A Conspiracy of Dunces”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It was a quiet Thursday afternoon on The Balcony recently. The weather was amazing and I was relishing being alone there, absorbed in my own thoughts for as long as it might last. Eventually the door opened and out stepped an attractive 40-ish blonde woman with a PBR. She took a seat on the other side of The Balcony and let out a big sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not having seen this woman before I did what I often do. I said \u201cHello\u201d and asked her if this was her first time in Oxford. She said it was. She asked if she could sit with me and I said, \u201cSure.\u201d A conversation ensued that was\u2014how do I say\u2014quite interesting. I began\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My name is Randy. What\u2019s yours?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just call me Margie.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okay Margie. What brings you to town?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I needed a little getaway from the pressures of work. I\u2019m from Georgia. Friends have told me about Oxford and I said, \u201cHell, we\u2019re both in the SEC and I\u2019ve never been to Oxford so why not?\u201d I think it\u2019s gonna fit the bill.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope so. If you don\u2019t mind my asking, what do you do for a living?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m in federal government work. Spend a lot of time in D.C.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah. I understand why you needed a break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah. Those damn Demoncrats are driving me crazy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How so?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their policies are ruining America. We\u2019ve gotta stop \u2018em before the illegal immigrants take over. Whatever it takes. But that\u2019s just one thing.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever it takes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHATSOEVER THE HELL IT TAKES! Don\u2019t you know that the January 6th attack on the Capitol was an inside job staged by the Dumocrats? Newborn babies are being killed! There were no planes that crashed into the Twin Towers! And THEY created Hurricane Helena, which they wanted to name Hellena, then only gave the victims $750 to help out! Damnocrats I tell you!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You really believe all that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you don\u2019t?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the reports I hear say that there\u2019s no evidence of any of it. And all the scientists know we don\u2019t have the technology to control the weather like that yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s because all of \u2018em are thin-skinned Dermorcrats. Oh, shit! You must be a Democrap too!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not registered with any political party, but I\u2019ve never voted for a Repooplican Presidential candidate since my first time to vote at 18. I supported Nixon. Boy, was I na\u00efve! And now, now we\u2019re more polarized than my sunglasses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, you GD commanist! You prob\u2019ly want that Confarterate statute over there taken down!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, yeah. But at least relocated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Freakin\u2019 turncoat!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wow! You get pretty worked up over all this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re damn right I do! You Socialisps and you\u2019re lazyfair ways are flushing America down the toilet!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, there\u2019s no evidence of all those conspiracy theories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must watch CNN.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know CNN stands for Communist Nation Now don\u2019t you, you sorry-assed Dharmacrat?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And FOX stands for Freakin\u2019 Obstinate Xenophobes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re a hopeless Dopeocrat!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually I\u2019ve got a lot of hope. I hope Republicant\u2019s like you will wake up and smell the coffee. I hope both parties will start working together for the good of our country again. And I sure hope we don\u2019t re-elect a lying, philandering, Bible-profiteering, orange President, Margie. By the way, what is your full name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am Marjorie. Marjorie Taylor Greene.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, that explains a lot. I think you\u2019ve got constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s it! I\u2019m done with you, you Dinocrat. I\u2019m out!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes you are, Margie. You\u2019re out of your teeny-weenie mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So much for my R&R. You Democrits ruin everything!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With that she slammed her PBR bottle down on the table, turned on her heels, and vamoosed in a huff. And I? I took a deep breath, lit my pipe, and returned to reading Rumi\u2014in peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and that\u2019s the View from The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Shamanic Life Coach, an ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. The only conspiracy theory he fully believes in is a conspiracy of love, peace, justice, and kindness.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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