{"id":118733,"date":"2022-03-30T16:46:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-30T21:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=118733"},"modified":"2022-03-30T17:32:53","modified_gmt":"2022-03-30T22:32:53","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-homage-to-film","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-homage-to-film\/","title":{"rendered":"The View From The Balcony: “Homage to Film”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(There are at least 102 film titles and famous lines in this piece. See how many you can find.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photograph by Jim Hendrix.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It happened one night\u2014a night to remember\u2026
\u201cSnap out of it!\u201d barked Rosebud!
\u201cYou talking to me?\u201d I asked.
\u201cWell I ain\u2019t talking to the invisible man,\u201d she said.
I\u2019d been in La La Land again. It had been a hard day\u2019s night. I was an American in Paris\u2014Texas\u2014a yankee doodle dandy with a Texas heart who\u2019d snoozed off on the waterfront after a night at the opera.
\u201cIt\u2019s alive! It\u2019s alive!\u201d mocked Rosebud.
This was the stuff that dreams are made of. I was under the moonlight on Elm Street, so a nightmare\u2014a grand illusion\u2014wouldn\u2019t mean I was psycho. I looked out the rear window at the thick fog. \u201cSomething wicked this way comes,\u201d I thought. I was chilled from the inside out\u2014shaken, but not stirred.
Once upon a time in Hollywood I would have had my knives out, but I was no second-hand lion, so I remembered: leave no trace. I remained the quiet man and could sense the gravity of the situation. Was this to be the apocalypse? Now?
I was about to receive the kiss of the spider woman when I spoke up. \u201cI am your father, the Irishman.\u201d
\u201cInconceivable!\u201d Rosebud declared. \u201cMy father is the man who would be king.\u201d
\u201cThe king of the world?\u201d I asked.
\u201cYes!\u201d said Rosebud, \u201cand someday the king and I will rule from here to eternity.\u201d
\u201cActually, the truth about Charlie is that he\u2019s the Elephant Man,\u201d I said.
Suddenly I felt a big chill, even in the heat of the night. But I never say never so I continued. \u201cYour eyes are wide shut, Rosebud.\u201d
Rosebud became a towering inferno. \u201cWhat we have here is a failure to communicate,\u201d she hissed.
\u201cNope,\u201d I said. \u201cYou just can\u2019t handle the truth.\u201d
\u201cThe truth about Charlie,\u201d she said, \u201cis that he is kind. He is smart. He is important. Never rarely. Sometimes always.\u201d
\u201cI think he\u2019s just a face in the crowd,\u201d I said.
Rosebud was fuming. \u201cThere will be blood,\u201d she shouted, \u201cand guess who\u2019s coming to dinner?\u201d
\u201cLawrence of Arabia?\u201d I answered. \u201cDoctor Zhivago? Doctor Doolittle? Mary Poppins?\u201d I was no longer going to walk the line for this unmarried woman. I caught the scent of a woman enraged, and thought we were about to have a shootout at the O.K. corral\u2014or I was about to be shot in cold blood.
\u201cI thought you were a man for all seasons,\u201d she said, \u201cbut now I see you\u2019re just a jerk.\u201d
\u201cAnd you\u2019re a bad seed,\u201d I replied.
\u201cHah!\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m a lily of the field.\u201d
\u201cThe killing field,\u201d I shot.
In the distance we heard the sound of music\u2014like blue velvet. It lured us to the bridge over the river Kwai.
We left together\u2014the odd couple. All was quiet on the western front, so we made it safely through the blackboard jungle despite my vertigo. This was to be the greatest story ever told, or at least a magnificent west side story. We made it to the apartment where we had the conversation.
\u201cYou\u2019re nothing more than a reservoir dog,\u201d she barked. \u201cYou say it\u2019s been a wonderful life. All I have to say is \u2018Goodbye Mr. Chips\u2019. I\u2019m the terminator!\u201d
The executioner\u2019s song was unforgettable. I cried out, \u201cWait until dark!\u201d
She seemed bedazzled\u2014dazed and confused\u2014and I made the great escape. It was like water for chocolate. But life is like a box of chocolates. I swept away down nightmare alley. Hungry, I bought a licorice pizza. My eyes cast down, I kept repeating, \u201cDon\u2019t look up, don\u2019t look up\u201d. I was the king\u2019s man and she was my lost daughter. I slipped into a tender bar on Sunset Boulevard.
It was midnight in Paris\u2014most likely my last tango there\u2014and I wanted a room with a view. I went up the down staircase and came face-to-face with the Hunchback of Notre Dame. His face rang a bell. In a league of his own, he gave me safe passage.
Rosebud was right behind him. \u201cI\u2019ve been looking for Mr. Goodbar, but you\u2019ll do,\u201d she cooed, \u201ceven though you\u2019re one of the lost boys.\u201d
\u201cA kiss before dying?\u201d I asked.
She took me to the killing room and said, \u201cI built it. You will come.\u201d
\u2026and that\u2019s the view from The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Shamanic Life Coach, an ordained minister, a singer-songwriter, and an actor. He wants to be a movie star. Randy may be reached at randallsweeks@gmail.com.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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