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<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nAlways the prepared ones, we swiftly draped the outer borders of The Balcony with sound proof cloth panels, thanks to the Brooklyn Dodger, painted to mimic the fa\u00e7ade of The Balcony. Shawty stood on The Sheik\u2019s shoulders in her 16-inch black spiked heels and hung a lighted disco ball from the ceiling. My good friend, Leon, an inciteful man, set up a boom box and started playing the Bee Gee\u2019s soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever<\/em>. The Amazon Woman and Dickie P., Two Blondes on The Balcony, set up a Grove-worthy bar and the lubrication began to flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, what happens when you mix Balco\u00f1eros, alcohol, and disco music? It ain\u2019t pretty, that\u2019s for certain, but it sure is fun! Libations, gyrations, gesticulations\u2026We rocked The Balcony until 3 am. That\u2019s when things got a little crazy. Newcomers Otisimus and The Deer Slayer were all in from the start. Otisimus ripped off her full-length flowing skirt to reveal a skintight sequined red mini, and The Deer Slayer tore off his Waikiki Woody Aloha shirt. They danced the tangiest Tango ever seen on the face of this earth, while the rest of us stood slackjawed at the wonder of the moment. The Brooklyn Dodger was so excited he let out a Bronx cheer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Leon\u2019s main squeeze, No-Account Addie, sat in the southeast corner of The Balcony, keeping tabs on whatever she keeps tabs on. In the end it did not compute and No-Account Addie threw her ticker tape into the wind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Czar Lazy-Fair drank Mik Ultras and waxed eloquently on Nietzsche, Derrida, Lacan, and Larry the Cable Guy, while Barefoot Jarhead, The Balcony Spook, took notes for her next missive on how to make grits more gritty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Out of the blue we all felt a mighty sway under our feet. The Balcony was undulating more than Gypsy Rose Lee behind those oversized feather fans. Sir Z.Z. Bullfrog, a pythy man and a new Knight of the Long Table, was hiding inside the bar to keep a watch on things. A good friend will do that. He threw on his Super Statistician Man cape and pulled us all in just before The Balcony was about to collapse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We lay on the floor, catching our breath and laughing our asses off. I started singing and the Balco\u00f1eros joined in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Show me the way to go home. The only thing was, we were already home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, my friends, that\u2019s the real reason The Balcony needed \u201cstructural repairs.\u201d Truth is still stranger than fiction. Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Shamanic Life Coach, an ordained minister, and a singer-songwriter. He may be reached at randallsweeks@gmail.com<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n On Thursday, September 2 at 1:14 pm, I received a communiqu\u00e9 via text from Sir Coonie, Lord of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":262,"featured_media":39753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11902],"tags":[12670,31,5,4,10286,10878],"class_list":["post-114099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-randy-weeks","tag-balcony","tag-city-grocery","tag-mississippi","tag-oxford","tag-randy-weeks","tag-the-view-from-the-balcony"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/2017-5-11-View-from-the-Balcony.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114099"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114099\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Mr. Thoreau, (Mr. Velvet Bitch), had brought a keyboard and was playing Queen\u2019s We Will Rock You. Everybody joined in at maximum volume and we stomped with all our might, \u201cWe will, we will rock you! (STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!) We will, we will rock you! (STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m tired and I wanna go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it\u2019s gone straight to my head.
Wherever I may roam,
On land or sea or foam,
You can always hear me singin\u2019 this song:
Show me the way to go home.*<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026and that\u2019s the View from The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Show Me the Way to Go Home lyrics \u00a9 Campbell Connelly and Co. Ltd.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"