{"id":111899,"date":"2021-06-16T23:45:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-17T04:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=111899"},"modified":"2024-08-06T14:08:42","modified_gmt":"2024-08-06T19:08:42","slug":"the-view-from-the-balcony-notes-in-my-phone-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/the-view-from-the-balcony-notes-in-my-phone-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"The View From the Balcony: Notes in My Phone III"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Stuff I\u2019ve heard, read, thought, and\/or received from the furthest most reaches of the cosmos<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Penguin Conquest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Twerkin\u2019 an\u2019 pole dancin\u2019 on The Square.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why you don\u2019t verbalize your limits to other people: so you\u2019re the only one who knows you\u2019ve failed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just started feeling bad. Musta been the bourbon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just started feeling better. Musta been the bourbon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not so much about getting lit as it is about staying lit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ASB: Associate Student Body. DSB: Dissociated Student Body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many roads must a man walk down? Approximately 237,016,432.666.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ignomy, polignomy, gnomy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poo Hong. Poo Hung.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to curtail that because I was still somewhat peripherally involved with my wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m drunk but I\u2019m not wasted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not your best work, Weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world is too much with us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Act of Taking a Shot. The Art of Taking a Shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3DI: Three Drinks In. 3DUI: Three Months In.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Snakes on The Balcony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a new fast food fowl restaurant in town: Three-way Chicken (M\u00e9nage a Cluck).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clogs of coeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

American idol. American idle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daddy tried to raise me right, but I went left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your column is great for cleaning windows\u2014and a few other things. (Joe the Barkeep)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A bacon of joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s where the bongs are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Water Valley variant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are we gentrified yet?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am dedicated, but I need<\/em> to be committed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s an elegant mess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard picking on people when you can\u2019t be around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s probably legit\u2014or not\u2014maybe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. (oursouthernsouls.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overly born again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She is an image of immoderation. (Rumi)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shave my legs with a dead man\u2019s razor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the best unit at Parchman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inpraguenito: Trying to go unnoticed in the Czech Republic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mononucleosis: The Kissing Disease. Stereonucleosis: a hi-fidelity joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t ignore someone on a bike in the breezeway with a boombox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Blame it on the brownie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Drunk on butter beans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wrongfully delicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allegedly. (Jennifer Mason)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Queen of Counterpoints.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A scrambled egg is a violent quiche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spacial recognition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One with the wood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pistol is as good as a sawed-off shotgun if you know how to use it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a gumball machine somewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In cog neato.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m harmless, but I don\u2019t always mean well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Goin\u2019 to that great gig in the sky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s a tourist to normalcy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pootles: fancy dogs with gastric issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The indicicitists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sterile cicadas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

De-Balconate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Around the world in codpieces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clutter corps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if Perry Como used a laser show in his concerts?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instaangst: powder that, when mixed with water, induces worry about anything and everything\u2014mostly anything. No\u2014mostly everything. Perhaps. Allegedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spectercle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vacciwaited: being in a super long line for a super long time to receive the Covid-19 vaccine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Got to get that butt protein.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Triangle of Trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My favorite kind of flagellation: self-flagellation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Miss Anthropy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I can\u2019t do that. I know people here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspired to be nosey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On an expotential scale\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An array of condom mints.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve grown accosted to your face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aperitif: a pair of teeth, not necessarily matching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fish bit my nipple. Then there was blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to struggle to be free here, but you\u2019re still free to struggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything is right behind the sky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the difference between a double entendre and a single entendre? Is there a triple entendre?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bitchability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A spiral is a spiral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hankerin\u2019 never stops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dino in the crosswalk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vengeance is a lazy form of grief (The Interpreter\u2014<\/em>film).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s good to know a man from The Delta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Posterior distribution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem with Paul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The figuring out tree. (Jennifer Mason)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The birth defect of slavery. (Condoleezza Rice)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anti-Semantic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disshoveled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let it be so. (Hunter the Barkeep)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spewing magnolias (Kendall Ketchum the Comedian).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I take diligence in my entanglements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over-simulated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Great Godsby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Primal simplicity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How could you feel otherwise as long as grace and mercy and forgiveness do not fill your heart?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just let it wiggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crouptons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fresh batch of mucus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jumping to confusions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dandy lion: a lion in a tuxedo with a bowtie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wicked pedia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to ask weeds to grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll pretend it\u2019s small enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does poetic justice rhyme?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

__________________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Shamanic Life Coach. He can be reached at randallsweeks@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stuff I\u2019ve heard, read, thought, and\/or received from the furthest most reaches of the cosmos Penguin Conquest. Twerkin\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":262,"featured_media":39753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11902],"tags":[18793,10286,10878],"class_list":["post-111899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-randy-weeks","tag-notes-on-my-phones","tag-randy-weeks","tag-the-view-from-the-balcony"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/2017-5-11-View-from-the-Balcony.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111899"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":141579,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111899\/revisions\/141579"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}