{"id":1102,"date":"2012-04-09T14:07:55","date_gmt":"2012-04-09T19:07:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/?p=1102"},"modified":"2012-04-09T14:07:55","modified_gmt":"2012-04-09T19:07:55","slug":"notes-from-the-visiting-yankee-mistaken-for-a-prostitute-tlv-153","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/notes-from-the-visiting-yankee-mistaken-for-a-prostitute-tlv-153\/","title":{"rendered":"Notes From the Visiting Yankee: “Mistaken For a Prostitute” (TLV #153)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Cities are known to have seedy bits. There\u2019s always a spot under the bridge where crackheads congregate and in the morning children find dirty needles and used rubbers. There\u2019s always a strip or corner where a Richard Gere can pick up a Julia Roberts to go indulge in adult carnal delights for a fiduciary exchange in which Julia Roberts comes out on top. It took me two years of living in the city of Oxford to find this place but a few weeks ago I did. How, you ask, did I find such a site, since I am neither a heroin addict nor a whore? Simple, really. I was mistaken for a prostitute.<\/p>\n

\"\"Surprisingly, I wasn\u2019t propositioned in Faulkner\u2019s Alley or some darkened nook of the parking lot behind Boure\u2019s new location. It wasn\u2019t a late night (or early morning) liquor-induced suggestion from a horny lonely guy who\u2019d struck out all evening at the bars on The Square. I wasn\u2019t presenting to provoke the prurient proclivities of the sexually depraved, a strumpet strutting the streets in a dress barely two inches below my bottom with legs like a gazelle in five-inch heels.<\/p>\n

My cleavage was concealed under a sweater plus a jacket. My jeans were loose and my shoes were as flat as a can of Pepsi that\u2019s been sitting out since the start of the barbecue. It was 2:30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I was strolling through a parking lot on College Hill Road when a gentleman in an SUV stopped me, ostensibly to ask for directions.\u00a0 He had some salt in his pepper hair and mistook me for someone ten years my junior. He remarked on my attractiveness and inquired if I had a husband. He asked my plans for the immediate moment and invited me to his house, offering $100 to have sex with him. Caught off guard I paused in reply, to which he swooped in and upped the ante to $200. It was then that I noticed the three-pack of Trojan Magnum condoms placed strategically on the crotch of his jeans. I politely declined and he politely apologized upon realizing that I was not \u201clike that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Later that night I wondered if I should be flattered or offended. If $200 is indeed the going rate for a prostitute in Oxford, then in my humble opinion, the hookers here are really getting the shaft.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"This article was published in The Local Voice<\/em> #153 (April 5-19, 2012).<\/strong><\/p>\n

Click here to download the PDF of issue #153.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cities are known to have seedy bits. There\u2019s always a spot under the bridge where crackheads congregate and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":238,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,183],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative-writing","category-notes-from-the-visiting-yankee"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/238"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thelocalvoice.net\/oxford\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}