Published on June 20th, 2017 | by Warren Hines0
5 Ways to Get Ready for Swimming Pool Season in Mississippi
With the sweltering heat of yet another Mississippi summer approaching, here are a few tips to help keep you cool at the pool this year:
- Watch What You Eat
Go for that supersize meal, and don’t throw away that last onion ring—eat it. Seriously, overweight people are less likely to drown. I once met an EMT technician on the Chattooga River who told me that they extracted a plus size gentleman from the Mississippi Sound with a helicopter a few days after Hurricane Katrina. It was the buoyancy of his fat that saved him from drowning.
- Don’t Do PCP at the Swimming Pool
The Los Angeles Police Department did not kill Rodney King, a swimming pool and irresponsible PCP use did, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusion about that.
- Buy a Ticket to Vegas
Everybody knows that Las Vegas has some of the best swimming pools in the world. Lake Mead is quickly running out of water, but you won’t have time to worry about that when you’re splashing around in an Olympic-sized swimming pool and drinking mojitos between the Venetian and the Palazzo. For the eco-conscious swimmer, go to the Bellagio—it sits on its own aquifer. If you can’t afford the trip to Vegas, the Hard Rock in Biloxi has a sweet pool, and I’ve heard there are some other good casino pools on the Gulf Coast as well.
- Make a List of Your Cool Friends with Swimming Pools and E-mail It to Me
I don’t have a pool, because let’s face it—pools are expensive. There’s a lot of upkeep, and I can’t afford to hire a guy to come around every other week and pull leaves out of my pool with a net among other things.
Having said that, I would love to meet your friend who has a pool. Maybe your friend is having a party to kick off the summer season. I just might stop by. You can e-mail the list to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
- Don’t Forget to Bring Girls
Worse than forgetting to bring beer to the pool is showing up to a sausage party at the pool. Take your wife or your girlfriend. Tell her she can bring a friend. It’s best if you avoid taking someone else’s wife or girlfriend to the pool, and much less dangerous!
Stay safe and have a great summer!