It is hard to find inspiration in the world today. Picking up a newspaper or magazine on any given day is most likely to depress you, what with the War in Iraq, new statistics on the ongoing climate crisis, and reports of flying sturgeon slapping the shit out of folks on the Sewanee River in Florida. Dog food cans found in Paris Hilton’s trash are being sold for hundreds of dollars on Ebay, Britney Spears just can’t keep her naughty parts hidden, y’all, and Avril Lavigne is still making music. Oxford residents can’t see the blue sky beyond the condos, and we are struggling to make rent. Depressing.
Ann Marie Schott, student and athlete, called me recently to tell me about her plan to do something out of the ordinary this summer. She had been considering buying four cases of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and locking herself in until fall, but decided to not let the current state of ickiness in the world today intimidate her. She decided to ride her bike all the way across the state of Mississippi. But because of time and money, she had to set her sights a little lower. She scaled back and planned a trip across Oxford. But then it got hotter way faster than expected and she finally settled on a plan that would work.
“I’m going to ride across the Square,” she told me, “and I’m so excited about it!”
I was impressed by her tenacity and infectious spirit, and I agreed to meet her right before her journey began.
We met up on Van Buren and talked while she stretched. She told me that personally, her motivations were simple.
“My high school yearbook voted me “Least Likely to Ever Do Anything of Importance,” so I really want to prove them wrong. I am also planning a victory kegger. Wait, is that on the record? God, please don’t print that. Don’t tell City Hall.”
I told her that bit of info would be off the record, although I knew I was lying. Even if caught violating some sort of ethical agreement, I am sure I will be pardoned. I mean, she’s not CIA.
I also asked her to tell me how she had prepared.
“I have been hula-hooping a lot. For the abs! And I’ve maintained a strictly no-carb diet. I’ve been sticking to a diet of bologna and bologna-related products. I’ve also had “Eye of the Tiger” on repeat on my iPod for days. I’ve watched a little Oprah, and purchased a ton of self-help books.”
I watched her mount her Trek Judy II, with a look of determination. She used her sweat band to mop the sweat that was beading her brow before placing it firmly on her forehead. And then, with a mighty shove from her trusty Roos, she launched herself towards the Square.
There were a few near misses as she pedaled. A woman in an SUV who appeared to be using two cell phones at once, almost flattened her in the crosswalk. And a man in a rumbling truck gave her the finger for no apparent reason while screaming several four letter words.
A few minutes later she was done, and through the haze created by the shimmering heat on the pavement, I watched her take a victorious victory lap.
She pulled back up to the sidewalk where I was standing and smiled. I noticed she looked just a little green.
She grinned and said, “Probably a good thing I didn’t try for more. But I feel pretty good right now. Like I could do anything really. Anything but get back on that bike.”
